Odds are you’re like me. You have a boring job, and a wife or girlfriend. Maybe you have some kids, maybe you have a dog. You have a mortgage, or rent, or whatever. And your job isn‘t just boring, I mean it’s mind-numbing, where people walk around like zombies everyday. An actual zombie apocalypse would at least mean you could do something about it. (The sound of a pump action shotgun being loaded clicks in the background)

Welcome to my life……

Thursday, February 24, 2011

People

• • • — — — • • •

As I drive down the highway I see little activity.  Really that's to be expected on this stretch of highway.  Even before the big kill.  I call it the "Big Kill" because in  a matter of twenty-four hours everyone was laying on the ground.  Twenty-four hours after that, some of them got back up. 

But I use the word "some" loosely.  Really counting is tough, but I just drove through a town that had a population sign posted of about five hundred.  I saw three zombies.  So if I missed another two or three, what's that make it, about one percent?  It's been about that.  I'll drive though a town of two thousand and there's less than twenty.  They're slow shambling zombies too, so protecting myself has not been and issue.  I'm a fair shot anyway.  Lately I've even said "good-bye" to caliber size and gone with an M16.  Not a big deal to pick up from a National Guard armory these days.  So I pick my shots, sort of make a game of it.  It keeps me interested.

So I coined the phrase the "Big Kill".  I'm not sure if that's very creative, and I have no one to ask.  Because at this point, I have found no other survivors.  

I admit that I've always wanted a zombie apocalypse to happen, and I knew it wouldn't be exactly like I expected, but I did not expect this.  I went from a job I hated and a boring life I hated that I only went to because I had to and changed it in for a life of no responsibility whatsoever.  At the moment, I really don't have much to do.  Food isn't an issue at the moment.  Once I got a gun, protection became automatic.  So what am I doing besides wandering?  Well, in a huge twist of irony, I'm actually looking for the thing I used to hate the most:  People.  If you add up all the town populations that I've gone through, it's already crossed several million, and I still haven't seen anyone.  I give them a good chance too.  I camp someplace high, like a tall building and put up a large sign I made that says "Anyone?" and lights up.  I open fire on any zombies available, so anyone who can't see me should be able to hear me.  I do that in several different places in big towns, just to make sure if anyone's there that they have a chance to see me.  Still nothing.

Saying that I'm the last person alive seems a little extreme, but the numbers are starting to become a little bleak.  I've crossed through areas with five million people.  What if I'm one in a billion?  I thought I heard that the U.S. had a few billion people in it.  So does that mean across the whole U.S. there's about six or seven people that survived? That's really a needle in a haystack.  However, last time I checked, I didn't have a lot of things going on, so my journey continues as I head across the U.S., just looking for people.     

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