Zombies, bring your A-Game. Please.

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The trick to zombies is that they don’t reproduce. Well, not exactly. Sometimes they multiply because they infect others, but they never really reproduce. Truthfully, it’s the cornerstone of any zombie apocalypse. For the most part, slow, shuffling, zombies are mowed down at an alarming rate. So it’s really imperative that zombies do their best to keep up their numbers. The most common way to do that is to bite. If biting is the only way to do it, it’s a wonder that any zombie apocalypse ever happens. Biting is a terrible delivery system. One of the worst, in fact. 

So someday, when the zombie apocalypse happens, I really hope the zombies have the wherewithal to spread the disease some other way than biting. Maybe an airborne or waterborne virus? Perhaps zombies that spit would be better? Either way, Zombies, if you’re out there, I need you to bring you’re A-game. If the uprising starts and you all get mowed down by the national guard in a couple of days, I’m going to be pretty disappointed.