Look for a weapon first.

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So I’m standing in the break room at work filling up a mug with hot water.  I then emptied a packet of spiced cider mix into it and began stirring as one of my coworkers walked by.  But walking wasn’t right.  It looked like more of a shuffling then an actual gait.  And it looked like they had a broken leg.  Oh, and they were bleeding from their eyes.  Now I don’t know where you work, but the shuffling is something I’ve come to expect.  It’s what people do when they have slowly had their soul sucked out of them since they’ve been at their job.  The broken leg is a little unusual, especially since it was a compound fracture, but it was the bleeding from the eyes that really tipped me off.  That’s not something you see every day.  I was pretty sure it was the start of a zombie apocalypse.  It actually makes sense to me that it would start in my office.  I’m already surrounded by mindless automatons.  Also, I’m pretty sure my brains get a little smaller every day I’m there, which is almost like them being eaten.  Albeit very, very, slowly. 

While I was really looking forward to that spiced cider, I realized I was caught in a pretty bad place.  I felt like the first thing you do is grab a weapon.  A quick scan of the room didn’t yield one.  There were chairs and the coffee mug in my hand, at best.  So next, I thought maybe I could buy myself some time.  The break room was pretty small, maybe 15x20 feet on a good day, with a door on each side.  I did realize, however, that the lock on either door was on my side.  My coworker had kept shuffling by, apparently unaware of my presence, so I put down my mug and locked that door first.  I quickly moved to the other door (which is actually a steel door with no windows that leads out to the warehouse) and locked that as well.  So now I’m locked in a small room.  I have secured both entries, and aside from a small vertical window in the door I saw my coworker though, I was well-hidden, and frankly, quite secure.  I picked my cider back up and sipped it.  I love the smell of cider on the morning of a zombie apocalypse. 

There are two great things to consider here……

1.  If you find yourself in a zombie apocalypse, look for a weapon first.

2.  If you’ve found a weapon, or can’t find one, buy yourself some time.  If you try to buy yourself some time before you’ve found a weapon and buying yourself time doesn’t work, you’re in trouble.  If you can’t buy yourself time, but you’ve already found a weapon, then at least you have a fighting chance.  Well, relatively speaking.