Odds are you’re like me. You have a boring job, and a wife or girlfriend. Maybe you have some kids, maybe you have a dog. You have a mortgage, or rent, or whatever. And your job isn‘t just boring, I mean it’s mind-numbing, where people walk around like zombies everyday. An actual zombie apocalypse would at least mean you could do something about it. (The sound of a pump action shotgun being loaded clicks in the background)

Welcome to my life……

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Management

• • • — — — • • •

Finding other survivors has been both a curse and a blessing.  I picked up a mother and two kids locked in a brick building, stranded on the rooftop.  I got to them just in time, actually. 

It took awhile, but I took care of the small mass of zombies outside the building by picking them off one by one from afar at first, and then I got to use the chain fed M60 I had picked up.  That was actually a good application, and I had been dying to use it.  Sorry, no pun intended.  There were only a couple that had actually gotten into the building, and the combat shotgun took care of that.  The great thing about a 12 gauge shotgun is that even if you shoot center mass on a zombie (which normally wouldn’t really hurt them with a small caliber weapon) you actually knock them back and over, so the follow up headshot is easy if a few pellets from the first shot didn’t already do the job by hitting them in the face. 

But I got to them in time.  I’m generally slow and methodical as I work my way through a town, and in  small town, there’s usually only a few hundred zombies total, so even in bunches, it’s only 20-30 at a time.  I’ll talk about that some other time.  The point is, if there are any survivors in a town, they’ve got some time to figure it out, figure out where I am, and figure out how to get to me without being shot.  I don’t know what it is, but most people wave a banner.  I guess it makes sense, it’s easy to see and very easy to figure out that it’s not a zombie doing it, although admittedly, I almost shot a guy with a banner once just because I was in the zone.  You know; sight acquisition, aim, fire, sight acquisition, aim, fire, sight acquisition, aim, fire, sight acquisition, aim, fire, and all of a sudden he was there and I aimed and his banner went up, and let me tell you, that was a close one.  I’ve never told him that yet.  Maybe someday. 

So the Mom (Patty) is handy around a kitchen.  That’s not a rip, it’s great.  Man can she cook!  And she seems to enjoy contributing in that way.  It’s like it makes her feel “normal” again.  And her two boys add some energy and life to the house.  Also, with someone handling he food, I can concentrate more time on other things, like gathering supplies and working on the defenses.  The other four are even better.  With their help, I’ve actually been able to start on that perimeter wall I’ve had planned.  And it’s nice to have a wingman or two, and some company.  But not every day.  Once again I’m back to managing people?  How the hell did that happen?  I thought I had waved good-bye to that when I left my cube and my old life as I knew it, right!?  And there’s food to gather now.  Right now the food is literally just laying around, but it won’t always be that way, and that’s something I have to think about.  And the kids need books to be home-schooled, and there’s a bigger power drain.  I just don’t know how I became a manager again.  It’s enough some days to make me want to throw myself to the zombies.  Ridiculous.  

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